Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
