anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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