if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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