I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My feet surprised me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
