We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
