His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
