apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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