I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
