so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I can't put those talents on a resume
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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