google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
tell your sister to shave her snatch
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
