So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
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I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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