Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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