Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
