I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
