i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
