I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
