i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize