I wanna bring you to show and tell
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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