Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
