if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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