Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
