Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I know her cup size but not her name....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
