The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
