Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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