dude i'm inner monologue high
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize