Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
