you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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