do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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