can we get nightvision for the apartment?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
