People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We got so high we made milksteak
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Who died my cat blue again?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize