So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
