Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
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I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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