all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
