Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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