so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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