she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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