Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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