im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
