Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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