Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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