Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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