Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
