Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
