brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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