u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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