So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
