This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
