Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
