I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
