This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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