She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need moral support for this bender
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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