i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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