R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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