I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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