I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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