nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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