garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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