Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
