This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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