He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
