break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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