It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
