so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
