Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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