summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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